Blog | Personal development

Build the Confidence of a Superhero

Model yourself after greatness and to complete your transformation with confidence

I loved comic books as a kid.

I was mesmerized by Superman, Batman, and especially Spiderman. The way they had their day job as a reporter, millionaire playboy and nerdy school kid really sparked my imagination. I could easily relate to Spiderman’s lack of confidence, especially when it comes to approaching girls.

As I got older, however, I began to grow into my own skin. But it wasn’t until I began to implement the full list of things we’ve been discussing that I became the successful salesman I am today.

In last month’s post we discussed how confidence is built through repetition, immersing yourself in the task at hand, and finally stroking your own ego through bragging. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t have to remind myself to do all of those things.

Don Iron Man’s suit for confidence

Though Superman, Batman, and Spiderman are still around, there probably isn’t a superhero that exudes confidence better than Iron Man.

Masterfully executed by one of the world’s best actors, Robert Downey Jr.’s Iron Man faces universe-eliminating villains without breaking a sweat. And manages to do so with grace under fire (literally!), firing back with precision that is only matched with the stinging zingers he delivers while he polishes off his enemies.

Now, I’m not saying that the only way to complete an impenetrable armor of confidence is to become an engineer with a seemingly unlimited budget.

But what will help you build confidence is performing an exercise I like to call modeling.

Modeling means mimicking or physically, mentally, and emotionally acting like someone else. Similar to the mirroring exercise I mentioned in the last post, modeling is something better done alone.

Maybe Iron Man isn’t your speed. It doesn’t matter if it’s an actor like Tom Cruise in a Mission: Impossible movie, or Tom Brady in the fourth-quarter of a playoff game, or Oprah in front of a large studio audience (and millions more at home), modeling their speech, their actions, and their way of thinking is what will complete your confidence building toolbox.

Put yourself in their place. What are they thinking? What are they saying to themselves? How are they moving? With persistence and repetition, your feelings will begin to match those who actually possess the confidence you seek.

The magic trick revealed

The truly magically thing that is revealed through modeling is that it’s been your confidence all along. That confidence you’ve been walking, talking, and acting has been 100% you. You’ve been using someone else’s power to bring out the best in you.

Confidence isn’t about your abilities—past or present. It’s about believing in who you are at your core, having confidence in you. The key is trusting yourself. Even if you don’t know much about something—like sales or handling a difficult conversation with a loved one—you know you can get through it.

No matter what difficult situations you’ve found yourself in, you’ve been able to bring yourself through it, each and every time. Sometimes you won. Sometimes you lost. But in every case you learned something.

If you’re facing a tough situation now—you need money for rent, your kid just got suspended from school, or you’re afraid you might not get the promotion you feel you deserve—you will get through it.

You’ve been training your whole life for it.

I have found the best solution is to get into it as quickly as possible. Immerse yourself in it and above all else, take action.