Blog | Personal development

What You Need to Build True Confidence

Include these two components into your confidence building toolkit

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Performing the perfect stroke for an hour in the swimming pool or sweating out 1,000 words every day for your book all require one thing: repetition. And the more you do it, the more confidence you’ll gain. The key to confidence is repetition

And though repetition is an important component of building your confidence, it’s not the only thing you need.

Once you’ve committed to putting in the time, you need to take it one step further if you and completely immerse yourself in your chosen activity.

Immerse yourself

If you want to learn a foreign language, you could take a semester long class in school or even take a course online. In fact, some believe you can do it even faster through life hacks.

But almost everyone who has traveled abroad will agree that the best way to truly learn another language is by visiting the country where it’s spoken. If you want to speak Spanish, go to Mexico or another country where it’s spoken fluently and you’ll be forced to learn it simply to get through the day.

If you want to be better at sales, make a ton of sales calls.

If you’re completely immersed in an activity you won’t have time to worry about your confidence. When you’re in a pressure-cooker situation where you’re completely bombarded with real life experience going on around you, you won’t have time to argue with yourself or worry about what others are thinking.

Confidence is something you worry about before you take on a task… not so much when you are in it.

When you’re thrust into an entirely new culture, you’re not worried about your accent or whether you blend in with the people around you. The only thing you’re worried about is getting to the right bus stop on time or finding a restaurant that serves food you want to eat.

You do what you have to do.

If you’re lacking confidence, my advice is to get yourself in as deep and quickly as you possibly can. The goal isn’t to succeed or fail. The pressure of getting through the situation will squeeze your doubting little voice from your brain.

How does that happen?

By immersing yourself in the task at hand. Your sense of mental acuity will be higher, and out of necessity, your lack of confidence will simply go away.

Your confidence will shoot through the roof because of your willingness to put yourself in these uncomfortable situations.

Mirror, mirror on the wall...

The confidence your searching for will be obtained through repetition and immersion into your activity, it’s true. But there is something else that will help… but only if you really want the confidence of a rock star.

I call it bragging, or boasting.

Laugh if you want, but it’s a real, physical exercise that will do wonders for your confidence.

Here’s what you do.

Remember a time in your life when you had a personal success. You and everyone there knew that you crushed it. You led the team in scoring, walked off the stage with a spelling bee trophy, or won the promotion. What happened doesn’t matter as much as how it made you feel.

Now, stand in front of a mirror and talk about the experience. Express through words and emotions how great your accomplishment was. You’re not being arrogant. You’re not comparing yourself to others. All you’re doing is verbally expressing how great it felt being you. This is a drill.

In fact, it’s ok to lie a little bit.

Stand on a chair, pump your fists, strike your best Superman pose… do whatever it takes to put yourself in a state that exudes great confidence. Do this for thirty seconds and you will feel a genuine adrenaline rush. You will know what it feels like to be great.

That apprehension you feel about doing it… that’s your little voice trying to talk you off the chair. That’s your little voice saying you’ll look stupid. Stay small. Don’t do anything foolish.

That little voice is the murderer inside you. The fact that it’s even speaking up should be a strong enough sign to do it.


Repetition… immersion… boasting… it’s all about building your confidence.

And next week I’m going to show you how to bring out the Oscar-winner inside you to complete your confidence toolkit.

Original publish date: September 19, 2019

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