Blog | Personal development, Personal Finance

When Emotions Go Up, Intelligence Goes Down

It’s true, you have been conditioned to be what you are… but that means you can also condition yourself to be who you want to be

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I promised in last month’s article that I was going to teach from some very painful lessons I went through.

Many years ago I went through a painful divorce. But it wasn’t just the divorce that caused pain. Shortly thereafter I met someone else, got engaged and again had my heartbroken after we broke off the engagement.

So if you’ve been following along with my stories the last few months you should know where I’m going with this.

You guessed it, my little voice came to the (illogical) conclusion that, “You just can’t trust women!!!”

I was lucky enough to have some great friends and mentors help be get focused on the real issue: me.

When I looked at my history of heartache it became evident that I first became so jaded at the age of seventeen. That’s when my negative mindset began and had been operating with it ever since.

I realized that every relationship since then brought up the same fear and lack of trust. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy. This happened with every relationship I ever had until my marriage ended, the engagement was broken off and I came face to face with my past.

The problem wasn’t that women can’t be trusted. The problem was that I kept listening to the voice in my head. I believed the words I kept repeating in my head were true.

They weren’t!


I have no one but myself to blame for the voices in my head. To me, they were real, based upon my own experiences.

Heightened emotions yield low intelligence.

Robert, Kim and I have all said the following statement on stage numerous times, ”When emotions go up, intelligence goes down.”

It’s so true.

Think back to your own life. When have you had similar voices in your head affecting your relationships, your money, or your life?

When you notice them (and it won’t take long) think about where they originated. Literally, stop what you’re doing, take a few deep breaths, clear your mind and let those memories come back. And when they do, acknowledge them. You can simply say, “Thanks for sharing,” and move on with your day.

But you don’t have to listen to any of them. Remember, you have complete control. Your body follows the commands your head gives it. You don’t have to eat anything that you don’t want to eat. You don’t have to spend time with anyone you don’t want to spend time with.

I remember I’ve even spent days walking around saying, “Stop! Stop! Stop!” out loud. I’m sure anyone observing me thought I was crazy, which is okay. It’s more important to me to stop and redirect my thinking.

You have my commitment…

Many years ago when I was running drills at a presentation workshop, I directed the more than 300 attendees to say something similar to this: “Thank you for coming today and spending your time with me. You have my commitment that I’ll do everything in my power to make sure that it will be well worth your time and your effort.”

One poor soul couldn’t get through the exercise. She was stuck on the statement, “You have my commitment.”

Every single time.

It’s almost as if her brain went blank after saying the word “commitment.”

She would stutter or forget what came next. Without realizing it she had created a mental block for herself.

I pulled her aside and tried to help her but without luck. After a few minutes, she became incredibly frustrated with herself. I could almost read her inner thoughts repeating, “Come on, this is ridiculous. Let’s get on with this already.”

Finally, she was able to break through and complete the statement in its entirety.

All 300 people burst into applause. Not only had she forced the words out of her mouth but she did so with so much power and belief that the room was moved by it. With tears pouring down her face, she realized her fear of commitment and public speaking forced her to take a back seat to all the things she really had wanted to say in the past.

Not everyone has a fear of commitment or dreads public speaking but everyone has something their little voice is falsely telling them is true that simply isn’t.

What’s your little voice telling you? What is one thing that has been plaguing you for what feels like your entire life that just isn’t true?

If you want to learn more about mastering your little voice, get a copy of my book, Little Voice Mastery.

Original publish date: January 24, 2019

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